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August 30, 2008

Note To Diddy: BFD!

I think I may have found an over-privileged, over-paid, super-rich class that needs to be socked with higher taxes -- whiny liberal celebrities with private jets.

Take this story about Diddy and the privations he is upset about facing.

Fuel prices have grounded an unexpected frequent-flyer: Diddy.

Sean "Diddy" Combs complained about the "... too high" price of gas and pleaded for free oil from his "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters" in a YouTube video posted Wednesday. The hip-hop mogul said he is now flying on commercial airlines instead of in private jets, which Combs said had previously cost him $200,000 and up for a roundtrip between New York and Los Angeles.

"I'm actually flying commercial," Diddy said before walking onto an airplane, sitting in a first-class seat and flashing his boarding pass to the camera. "That's how high gas prices are. I'm at the gate right now. This is really happening, proof gas prices are too high. Tell whoever the next president is we need to bring gas prices down."

I'd like to address a few words to the semi-talented Pee Diddly-squat:

I'm sure I speak for the overwhelming majority of Americans when I say "Big f*ckin' deal!"

The horror of it all -- you have to fly commercial with all of us plebeians? Let me guess -- they made you go through airport security just like a normal human being, too. The utter humiliation of being told "shoes off, empty your pockets, open that bag, sir" -- instead of avoiding all that by taking a private jet from a private terminal where you don't have to be bothered with such things!

Listen, you arrogant, elitist douchebag, that is how the rest of America lives -- when we can afford to get on a plane at all. After seven years without setting foot on an airplane at all, I've actually flown three times this year -- once to visit my mother-in-law when she became critically ill, then again to bury her two weeks later. The third trip was to see my parents for the first time in eight years. Only once -- when a fluke with my dad's frequent flier program made it cost fewer miles than flying economy -- did we have the luxury of flying in first class where there are still meals, drinks are free, and you even get a hot towel to wash up. So forgive me if I don't feel your pain about not being able to afford $200K private jet flights.





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