Don’t call them “fish”. Call them “sea kittens”.

RADICAL international animal rights group PETA has launched its most bizarre campaign yet, demanding fish be renamed "sea kittens". PETA - People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals - believes calling fish sea kittens will make sea food less appealing.

It wants to change the image of fish as slimy and slithery creatures by claiming they are similar to cuter, more popular animals. "Would people think twice about ordering fish sticks if they were called sea kitten sticks?" PETA asked on its website.

Of course, it doesn’t matter to the ideologues (or is that “idiot-logues”) at PETA that fish really are slimy and slippery – they are so opposed to the consumption of anything with a spinal column that they are willing to engage in absurd word tricks and shameless stunts (and sometimes acts of violence) to force others to conform to their standards.

In a related story, the leaders of Hamas, Hezbollah, al-Qaeda and the Taliban are seeking to replace the word “terrorist”. On their website they ask the question “Would people think twice about opposing the world domination of radical Islam and the murder of Jews, Christians and other infidels if our noble jihadis were called sand kittens?”